I Wanna Go Fast

So the other day, I walked into a classroom and found the idiot box was turned on. (Who watches TV during school anyway?) I happen to love television, but this was one exception. The student in the room was watching a NASCAR race.

Ugh. Honestly, how can anyone truly enjoy watching a bunch of cars race around a track for 500 laps? It's like watching a little child spin around on a merry-go-round. Sure, it might be mildly entertaining the first few times, but its attractiveness quickly dies. These cars just go round and round and round and round and round. You get my point. Seriously though, they never even make a right turn.(Do race cars even have turn signals?)

I don't know how you can call it a sport. It involves no physical activity, very litte reliance on personal skill, it's all about the machine that you're operating. Anyone can be trained to drive a car, but you can't train natural athletic ability in sports such as football and basketball. These race car drivers just sit behind a steering wheel and waste gas. I did the same thing on the way to school day, but sadly, I didn't get paid large sums of money from sponsors. Bummer.

I have an uncle who is an absolute racing fanatic. During a family get together, I happen to express my feelings on racing. Of course, he had to defend his beloved "sport". 3 and 1/2 hours later, I still didn't see how on earth people could actually enjoy it. It's sad really, I'm never going to get that precious time back. There was a movie last year sometime, called Talladega Nights, which relentlessly bashed the race car industry. The movie is full of knee slapplingly funny lines, and stereotypes racing in just about everyway possible. I just lubs it.

So next time you find yourself near a place that smells heavily of beer, burnt rubber, and gasoline, you're probably near a racetrack. Run as quickly as possible away.