Sadly, I Do Know the Muffin Man

When I first got my driving permit and began driving with my parents, they would always tell me that driving is a privilege and not a right. That saying always annoyed me every time i heard it, despite its truthfulness. Lately, I've seen this saying...but modified slightly. It now says, "Spandex is a privilege, not a right." Gosh, oh so true. and funny, because we've all seen someone who really should not have been wearing spandex. Yuck.

This sort of philosophy shouldn't be limited to just spandex, but all tight clothes in general. People come in different shapes and sizes, and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is when those people wear clothes two sizes too small. Please, if you're one of those people, do us all a favor and admit it really isn't the mirror that makes that shirt look tight. That muffin top really is there, and people really can see more crack than they want. If you need another saying, just go with, "crack is whack, put it back." I know that's the motto i get dressed to each morning. But if you're one of those people, don't worry, you're not alone! Even famous people make such fashion faux pas, like Britney Spears for example. Take a look for yourself, if you feel the need. Beware, it is slightly disturbing. Photo

If we think about such dressing in terms of criminal behavior, it's a well known fact that possession of crack carries with a pretty harsh sentence. So maybe if we started prosecuting all the people who blatantly violate crack laws multiple times, other people will start to catch on and in the end it will save the general population from forcing us to gouge out our eyes.

Unfortunately, these are all silly pipe dreams, and I best go back to reality.

Wii (R) Fit

Wii. It's more than just a silly pee joke and the french word for "yes". It is in fact, the greatest game system ever to be put on the face of the earth. (and it costs less than an xbox!). Hah, take that Microsoft!

Nintendo has always been a leader in the video game world, and with the release of the Wii, they make no exception. The wireless wand motion sensor is awesome and one of a kind. The Wii has all the coolest and newest games with things like Wii Sports, and even the good ol' Nintendo classics such as Mario Kart, Mario Party, and Super Smash Brothers. The next big thing that will be coming to the Wii is called Wii Fit.

Wii Fit is not just any old game. It is actually a work out program of sorts, meant to counter the notion that video games leads to childhood obesity. Go Nintendo! This game also brings with it a different kind of controller. It involves a balance board that controls and reads your movements. Wii Fit was released in the United States today. Wii Fit has received a hugely popular response in the European countries that is has been released into, and i doubt it will be any different in the United States.

Every thing I have heard of this game has been positive, with one exception. Apparently, a little girl in Britain, who is about 10, was playing the game. When the game calculated her Body Mass Index (BMI), the game straight up told her she was fat. Ouch, that can't do much for your self-esteem. Of course, the little girl cried to mommy and daddy who were outraged. Nintendo issued a formal apology but maintains that the software may not be the most accurate thing in the world, but is still reliable. Well, at least we know who to blame for the next generation of girls with eating disorders.

Miley Doesn't Know

So sometime last week, Miley Cyrus (legally born as Destiny Hope Cyrus...who would name their child that?), aka Hannah Montana made news headlines. Again. After reading about her recent problems with the media and those "inappropriate" pictures, which frankly, showed slightly less than if she were wearing a swim suit, I was slightly worried what sort of trouble dear old Miley had gotten herself into this time.

I was happy to read that in fact she was NOT in rehab yet. PHEW. But, no, she was taking heat for supposedly stealing the opening part of a song and not giving credit to the original band. Terrible, terrible, i say! What sort of example is she setting for all of those teeny weeny impressionable people who watch the Disney channel?! But then i saw just what song by what group she was accused of stealing. The song is called "Scotty Doesn't Know" by the very much unheard of band called Lustra. Prior to hearing about this, I had heard of Lustra, and in fact listen to "Scotty Doesn't Know" on a regular basis. The song got its sort of break on the movie Eurotrip....and quite frankly, I would be surprised if Miley has ever seen Eurotrip, though it is a quality movie.

I just didn't buy that Miley or whom ever writes her songs actually copied that song. So i delved a little deeper and found out that the part of Mileys song in question is only the first few seconds, so I just had to have myself a listen. And so I googled a wee bit and found this. You can decide for yourself whether she copied anything or not.



I later learned that Lustra only found out about the supposed copying from a commenter on the bands MySpace page that saids, "Miley Cyrus released a single "Rockstar" with a guitar hook that is very similar to the main guitar riff of 'Scotty Doesn't Know' ... Check it out and sue away."

Dude, Let's Hope You're Not Getting a Dell

If you've bought a computer in the past five years, there's a good chance it was a Dell, seeing as how they're the number one computer sales company, and they ship millions a year. Sadly, if you were one of those people who happened to buy a Dell, those friendly folks at Dell threw in a complimentary music program called Jukebox. Lucky you.

Or you could have been one of those smart people who realizes just how many problems any Windows operating system has in it, and you chose instead to buy a Mac. And of course, if you bought a Mac, you also have iTunes for your music player. Sort of lucky you.

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I happen to belong to the group of people who owns a Dell. And so, I've been stuck with Jukebox for all of these years. I absolutely despise and hate and loathe that program so much...expect for its play list feature. My love for the play list feature happens to overcome all resentment, so I continue to use Jukebox as my main music player on my computer. What I love about the feature is its simplicity. You click on a song from your music library, and it goes into this little box at the top and starts playing the song. From there you can add more songs to this list, save it, burn it, shuffle it, repeat it, all with a simple click of easy to use buttons. It's just great.

But when I bought an iPod, I was forced to download iTunes so I could actually put music on my iPod. After messing with all the downloading woes of trying to put an Apple program on a Windows system, I finally was able to put my music on iTunes as well. For a little bit, I thought I had found my answer to Jukebox. But it just wasn't me. And as I thought about it, i realized it was because the way iTunes handles playlists really irked me. You have to create a whole new playlist if you don't like the one you made earlier, there's the chance of clicking on a list, dragging and dropping it into another, royally fucking over that playlist.(Which I happened to do numerous times). Everything else about iTunes i really loved. Except the playlist feature, and ultimately it forced me back to Jukebox.

Sad, but true.

Now, if someone could create a program that combined Jukebox's playlist feature with all of iTunes other features, I would be...happy.

*Side Note- After using the program for a couple of years, I recently learned I could actually shuffle my whole music library on Jukebox....something I had really wanted to do for a while. Yay Jukebox.

Super Woman

When I hear the name Oprah, I don't picture a well dressed business woman standing on the set of her talk show. Instead, I tend to see Oprah more as a combination of superhero and savvy business woman mixed. It's sort of like taking Superwoman's costume and putting it on Oprah...except the suit isn't made out of spandex. Sorry Oprah, it's just not flattering.

The reason I say this is because of all the amazing things Oprah has done throughout her career. She has her own talk show (which has earned her a number of Emmys), she's a book critic, an actress, owns a successful magazine, and she has a whole of money. She's worth somewhere around the neighborhood of 2.5 billion dollars. Not bad, not bad at all. That amount makes her the worlds only black billionaire. Congratz to you Oprah.

Despite all of her accomplishments, I think the thing that really amazes me about Oprah is her power. I think a good demonstration of this power lies in her book club. Oprah can take a never heard of author and sky rocket them to instant stardom if she gives the book a good review, like she did with James Frey and A Million Little Pieces. Unfortunately, this book turned out to be a fraud and it's never good for your career when Oprah denounces you on national television.

More and more I see Oprah's name everywhere I look. It's on magazines. It's on headlines. On television shows, spoofed in movies, and even managed to make its way into my AP tests. The last one I really got a kick out of. I was taking my AP Lang test and out of nowhere, POW!, it starts talking about Oprah! You know you've made it big time if your name appears in a college board test.

As much power as Oprah has, I don't think I'll be worried until her face starts getting stitched into my toilet paper.

Grand Theft Auto 4

Video games, video games, video games. We've all probably played some sort of video game in our lives, with frequency a wide and varying span. Some of those games probably had guns (GASP) and maybe even a little bit of violence to go along. I know I was shocked every time Mario jumped on those poor little turtles.

Lately, there has been one game in particular that has been getting a terrible reputation due to its violent content. This game is none other than Grand Theft Auto 4. If you've ever played, seen, or heard anything about the Grand Theft Auto series, then you probably already know that it is rather notorious for its content. In GTA, the object is to complete a series of missions, and along the way you are able to use your fantastic skills. These skills include: stealing cars, robbing people, beating down prostitutes, shooting cops, and causing problems in general. You get a variety of weapons to do all of this, like pistols, machine guns, grenades, and fun things of the sort.

The whole game series has gotten a lot of criticism for that kind of stuff. In particular, there have been instances where teenage boys who have gone out and stolen cars, and even shot police officers and claim that they Grand Theft Auto taught them that it was ok to do this. And of course there are groups and lawyers out there who will defend kids like this, arguing the video game "made" them commit those crimes. Seriously, learn to make your own decisions and take some self-responsibility for once. Not everything can be solved through a law suit.

If these kinds of video games are so bad, why don't we have every kid who plays Halo going out and trying to battle aliens? Sure, there might be one or two cases who were influenced by the video game, but if the video game hadn't gotten there first, cable tv would have eventually. Maybe we should blame the parents for being terrible parents. Our parents played video games. They had Mario, and Asteroid, and Donkey Kong. But we don't have a bunch adults going around trying to hop down sewer pipes, throwing barrels, or preparing for intergalactic asteroid collisions. They seemed to have turned out okay.

Hogan Doesn't Know Best

Occasionally I need inspiration for what my blog topics and go searching through the Internet and TV and whatever else i feel like. Today, I happen to choose the good old television. As I was flipping through the channels, I came upon court TV. HA. Who watches Court TV? Well, me apparently because that is exactly where I found what I was looking for. There, I saw a sorrowed looking Nick Hogan reading an apology off a piece of paper in a court room. I hadn't known Nick done anything, but quickly learned that he was charged and receive eight months in prison for felony reckless driving that left his friend severally and critically injured, to a point where he needs care the rest of his life. I was sad to hear about his friend, but I felt no shock or surprise at all to know that Nick was involved in a car accident.

Let me rewind. A couple of years ago, the Hogan family gained their 15 minutes of fame through a reality show on VH1 called Hogan Knows Best. It followed the family around their everyday life and was frankly rather boring. The one or two episodes i actually did watch showed Nick with a love for reckless driving and fast cars. It also showed that Hulk's wife bought the family chickens as pets. Wooow. And I wonder why it got cancelled. The show also focused around the daughter, Brooke. The only thing i really have to say about Brooke is that her blond hair fit her well. Oh, and she had a "music career". This so called music career flopped around and died faster than a fish out of water. A very, very sick fish.

The other two main characters in the show were of course Hulk himself, and his wife. Even from the little of the show i saw, it didn't take a marriage counselor to see that these two had their problems. They were always squabbling about theeee dumbest things I've ever heard (minus some of the dialogue from the Hills). And what do ya know, Mr. And Mrs. Hogan filed for divorce. I wonder if the producers are going to do another season of Hogan Knows Best. I don't think I've ever seen a reality show where the people involved were in an on going divorce. Sounds like quality TV to me.

In conclusion, I think it's fair to say that Hogan probably doesn't know best.

I smell BBQ

So all of last week in physics, we had a couple members of the local police department come in and talk to us about their jobs and how they actually use physics during their jobs. We were able to use the same physics equations that they do in their jobs and solve a mock incident. (Who knew you could actually use physics in the real world?). During this time, the officers of course asked if anyone had questions. My personal favorite question happened to be, "Could you taser me?" or something to that extent. Not surprisingly, the officer declined. I sorta wish he would of used it and maybe that would have stopped the endless spewing of dumbness out of this particular kids mouth. Anywho.

But since that question came up, I've been thinking about Tasers. First off, I had forgotten that the local police department even had tasers. Then I began wondering about the use of tasers in police departments and even personal use. In the news, I always hear about the debate whether or not the use of a taser is safe and just how non lethal they really are. They are suppose to be an alternative to using deadly force and meant to subdue unruly suspects, but there have been a number of deaths around the country since the taser has come into use by police departments. Kind of an uneasy feeling there. (On a side note, the word taser comes from a ficitional weapon called the Thomas A. Swift's Electric Rifle. Yay for acronyms.)

One of the more well known incidents of questionable taser use comes from a John Kerry speech where a University of Florida student verbally went off on John Kerry and police took him away where they tasered him and created the now infamous viral video of the student yelling, "Don't tase me, bro!". Was this use of a taser proper? I'll leave that up to you. But being tasered is quite similar to sticking your finger into a light socket. I've heard peronsal accounts of just how much that hurts. Here's the video:

Then there is the thought that one day ordinary everyday people will be able to carry a taser around with them. It's like a gun...but much more discrete. Given our countrys problem with gun control as it is, i really hope that tasers never become publically available.

YaGlue

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, I've always used Google as my one and only search engine. It's hard to remember a time pre-Google, but I do have vague memories of such a time existing. When I needed to find something, I think i would use Ask Jeeves (who frankly, was never much help) and Yahoo. I kind of remember Yahoo sort of dominating the search engine world. But that all changed when Google came around. It's signature white background with the Google proudly displayed and the cool things they make it into around holidays...it's basically what I live for.

Until recently, I thought Yahoo was on its way down the toilet. All i ever used it for was the occasional game of pool and a free alternate email address at time when AOL was being its usual shitty self. But turns out Yahoo! isn't quite dead yet. They plan on releasing a new, better, superior search engine to try and compete with Google. I was shocked that anyone would actually try and compete with Google, but hey, whatever floats their boats. This new search engine is going to be called Glue. It is going to provide users with more than just a list of plain old boring blue links to click on. It will bring you videos, pictures, and news from a variety of sources. Exciting, i agree. Currently, this new program is being tested in the good ol' country of India (yay outsourcing?) and is expected to makes its United States debut sometime this summer.

On a slightly different note, Microsoft actually tried to buy out Yahoo for the measly sum of 47.5 billion dollars. Psh, pocket change. Thankfully, Yahoo! Inc. turned down this offer and Microsoft has since withdraw their bid. Which is good, because Microsoft doesn't need to control anymore of the world than it already does.

Puddle Jumping

I have a number of personal heroes in my life. This list includes Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Simon Cowel, the lead singer of Motion City Soundtrack, and my brother, just to name a few. But recently, someone else has had the distinct honor of joining the list. She goes by the name of Leona Lewis.

If you haven't heard of Leona Lewis by now, you should probably stop what ever you're doing and go google her. It will change your life for the better. Leona Lewis is the biggest thing currently on the air waves with her hit "Bleeding Love". Rarely do I actually listen to the radio, since my iPod has far better taste in music than any of the radio stations, but for some reason I decided to switch to the radio for a day. On my way to school, I heard Mizz Lewis and her killer song. Then, in some freak coincedence, I hear it on my way home from school! Crazy. After that, she had basically won me over.

The thing that really kills me about Mizz Lewis is the fact that she has been big over seas for over a year now, and I had never heard of her until recently. American Idol's sweetheart, Simon Cowel, actually helped Mizz Lewis get her big break in the United States. (Who knew he was actually good for anything?) At the same time, it makes me kind of sad knowing that I have to live in America with music of a lesser quality. All sorts of quality bands have come out of the United Kingdom...Oasis, The Beatles, and the Killers for instance. Then i become even more depressed when I think of all the potentially great bands i will never listen to in the UK. And to think, if we had never had the Revolutionary War, i wouldn't be in this position.

Trippin'

Sometime last week, a very momentous event happened. The nature of the situation was, and still is, very tragic. A great man in the scientific field passed away. He could be put up in the ranks of such men as Albert Einstein, and Watson and Crick. His name was Albert Hofman.

Most of you are probably asking, "Who on earth is that man?" Well I'll tell you. Mr. Hofman was a Swiss chemist, and the inventor of LSD. Mr. Hofman's famous discovery happened on April 16, 1943, when he was researching LSD and accidently absorbed a tiny amount through his fingers. (Man, good thing he wasn't wearing gloves that day). After he experienced the effects of the LSD, he decided to do more experimentation with it and led him to become an advocate of psychedlics for their effects on the human mind.

One of the most shocking things about Mr. Hofman's death was his age--102. Since reading about him, i've always thought that he somehow found a way to prolong his age with his psychedelic drugs. I guess this is good news for all those hippies from the 60's and 70's who took LSD. Maybe they too will have rather long lives. I suppose the last trip Mr. Hofman ever took was on his way into the ground to be buried. I hope it was a good one.

When a reporter from The Onion.com asked a woman what she thought of the situation, she replied, "Shit, did anyone remember to write down the recipie for LSD?"

American (not my) Idol

As I was flipping through my iTunes music library the other day on shuffle, it landed on a song that really got me thinking. It happened to be none other than the great American idol, Kelly Clarkson. Everytime I hear her, it takes me back to the great first season of American Idol (the only one actually worth watching)

The first season of American Idol was the only season that I fully watched. I sorta watched the second season, but by that point, I couldn't take anymore of Ryan Seacrest. He finally scared me away. I think what really kept me hooked to the first season was the singers. They actually had decent contestants on the first season. I mean, the only winner from American Idol to actually do anything with their life is Kelly Clarkson. (I guess Kelly and Justin did make that movie that no one actually saw, so it doesn't count.) The only other winners i can think that are notable are Clay Aiken, who had a minor hit or two, and Taylor Hicks, due to his stricking resemblence to my dad.

Then there are the judges of American Idol. You have Simon Cowel, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson. Not being an avid American Idol watcher, I don't actually know if Randy is still alive, but we'll assume so for now. It's not my fault his name never ends up in the news. Simon and Paula on the other hand, are quite the news makers. Paula is just a old and washed up 80's singer who wouldn't know good music if it was handed to her on a silver platter. Simon, despite many peoples dislike for him, I find to be a rather interesting character. He comes from the great island nation of Britain, where he started a similiar show over there, which turned out to be a great success, so he just had to bring it over here as well. Most people just think he is an American Idol judge and doesn't do anything else, but he is very busy behind the scenes in the music industry. Whadda a multitasker he is. Probably my favorite thing about Simon is the fact he helped bring Leona Lewis to America as well. He deserves a medal in my book.

But, I may have been a wee bit unfair in my judgement, so to get the whole experience, I plan on road tripping it up to Chicago for next seasons try outs. Woohoo.

Great Success!

Borat: [while driving] Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Driving Instructor: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Borat: A-why not?
Driving Instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: [stunned] WHAT...? You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consensual. How 'bout that?
Borat: [turns to Instructor, pauses] Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That's good, huh?
Borat: [pause] Is not good for me.

Hilar.
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Borat. Probably one of the best films from 2006. Made huge bucks in the box office. The legal problems it created for for Sasha Baron Cohen, astounding. One of those movies if you're above the age of 30, it would be in your best interest to avoid seeing. It spawned a whole generation of kids who went around trying to imitate Borat's accent, only to fail miserably. What a great movie.

If you haven't seen Borat yet, or have been living under a rock for the past couple of years, I'll give you a brief summary of the movie. First, you have Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen), a news reporter who lives in the poor and run down country of Kazakhstan, and decides to travel to America to make a documentary of American culture. Along the way, Borat finds himself in rather hilarious situations due to cultural differences and such. He also falls in love with Puhmella (Pamela Anderson) and is determined to meet her. That's the movie in a nutshell for ya.

As I was watching Borat for the first time, I wondered if all of this could really be true. Some of the things Borat does are just straight up mind boggling. As I looked deeper into whether the movie was staged or not, I was confronted with more uncertainty, thanks to the silence on the part of the film directors. Though, seeing as how the law suits are real, the movie must have been as well. (Law Suits)

For all of you out there who haven't seen Borat yet, I only have one recommendation for you: Don't watch it with your parents. It's just one of those movies that shouldn't, under any circumstances, be seen in the presence of the parentals. A friend of mine went through this very traumatic experience and told me "It was one of the most awkward things that has ever happened to me" There ya go folks.

Mud Wrestling

As I was browsing my previous posts and looking at other peoples blogs, it hit me. Not once have I bothered to do anything on the up coming presidential election. Shame on me. Sorta.

When I say "sorta", I don't mean to come off sounding like I don't care about our presidential election, because I actually do care about its turn out. When I say "sorta", I'm more referring to how I've previously thought about writing about the election, but have been turned away due to the manner in which elections are handled these days. Every time I hear/see/read something about the election it's, a) something that has been said before by another news source, b) someone complaining about how they don't like a candidate, or c) plain old mud slinging. Don't get me wrong, I love a good mud fight...just keep it out of politics please.

This is going to be the first election I'm able to vote in. And I'm pretty stoked about it. It's like whoa. It's big. Its the thing that I've always wanted my teachers to tell me who they voted for, but won't. And yet, part of me still has this sort of resentment that politicians stoop so low. (Admittedly, I'm not surprised though). I'm pretty sure I actually watch less television during election season, just so I won't have to watch the candidates commercials. When I see an article in a magazine or newspaper about one of the candidates, I'm likely to skip over it, because it doesn't tell me anything relevant about that person. It kind of reminds me of third grade when kids would go tell the teacher because you said they had cooties. boohoo.

When Escalators Attack

When you think of things that might cause you harm, you think of falling boulders, car crashes, zoo animals escaping from their cages, and even listening to Backstreet Boys. But how often do you think of an escalator as something that can cause you potential harm? Personally, I rarely find myself in that position.

Until this morning that is. I was reading the news article when KAPOW! Out of nowhere, I see this headline that says, "Safety of Popular Shoes in Doubt." Being the very concerned and fashion savvy person I am, I just had to make sure the shoes I wear aren't a health hazard. It turns out, I'm safe--only because I don't wear Crocs. But the article was about how kids in Japan apparently are being injured wearing Crocs while they ride on escalators. After reading the article, what I took away from it was this-- If you happen to be an American Croc wearing citizen, you're safe as long as you don't visit Japan and ride the escalators for fun. I know, I probably just saved your life.

But what really struck me was when I saw that the article included a reference from the Elevator/Escalator Safety Foundation. Whoa, hold up. I couldn't believe it. This is too good to be true. Is there seriously a foundation dedicated solely to betterment of society through escalator safety? Neato. I just had to check it out. And what I found was truly fascinating. I wish i could highlight all of the great content on the website, but I'll let you do that for yourself.

My personal favorite part of the site was the Facts/Myths:

MYTH: Escalators can reach out and grab you.

TRUTH: No part of an escalator can do this. But people must be careful of loose clothes, untied or long shoelaces, high heels, long hair, long jewelry, etc. because these can get caught in an escalator's machinery.

Boy, I'll sure sleep better tonight knowing I'm safe from those snatching escalators.

Soap Operas

Soap Operas. The trash of day time television. They are the real reason kids go to school during the day. They give stay at home women a reason to live. They are the only kind soap I know of that doesn't make you smell clean.

A couple times per week, Mandi and I go to her house to eat lunch, because lets face it, school food just isn't that good, and without fail we always interrupt her mother and her soap opera watching. Inevitably, since we can't change the channel, we end up watching some of the show while we eat. And they are terrible. Occasionally, they're so bad I just don't feel like eating anymore. I'm not generally too picky about what I watch on tv, but even I have my limits, and that limit happens to be soap operas. Week and week, there is the same old thing on the same old soaps. All the characters are over dramatic who are facing problems, which is being pregnant, having an affair, getting married, waking up from a coma, or getting in an accident. Just a bunch of drama queens I say. I've always wondered how you can have a television channel dedicated completely to showing soap operas when you have the same thing happening over and over again.

Personally, If I were a regular watcher of those soap operas, I would get sick of the same old plot twists time and time again. You think they might be able to come up with some new, like aliens invading or giant asteroids hurling toward earth threatning to end civilization. Something, anything, other than what they always show. But then again, maybe I just can't appreciate those kind of shows.

I Hope I'm Invited to The Baby Shower

So yesterday, I was taking a look at my feeds I recieve from various gossip sites, and one in particular caught my browing eyes. It read, "Another Source Says Simpson Is Pregnant" That was shocking to me. Another source?! Does this mean more than one source says Jessica Simpson is pregnant?! Last I knew she wasn't even engaged, and only dating some nobody NFL quarterback. I really shouldn't have started assuming all of those terrible things about Jessica, for when I clicked on the link, it was none other than her little sister, Ashlee Simpson.

Sidenote: Ashlee Simpson is probably best known for (other than being Jessica's sister) her reality television show and mediocre music career. Oh, and when talking about Ashlee Simpson's fame, you can't forget to mention her Saturday Night Live debacle where she was caught lip-singing. Tsk Tsk.

Duh duh duh. It all makes sense now. Jessica isn't currently engaged/married to anyone at the moment, but Ashlee is! To our favorite member of Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz, none the less. I vaguely remember reading about those two getting engaged and have a wedding planned for next month.(I sure do wonder if Ashlee plans on inviting ex Ryan Cabrera?) It seems to me that this wedding seems awfully sped up...I wonder if the arrival of a baby has anything to do with it. The more and more I think about what their kid might look like, the more and more I'm split in two different directions. Either it is going to be one gosh darn quite little booger (provided it pops out with it's natural hair color...speaking of which, what is Ashlee's...or Pete's for that matter?) or it is going to be the most hideous thing on the face of the earth. I guess only time will tell.

To me, it seems like there have been a number of baby announcements/weddings recently. We have Ashlee of course, Nicole Richie, Beyonce and Jay-z (finally), the most recent Survivor winner, and a bunch of other people who were in television shows long ago that nobody really remembers anyway. But congratz to all of the above. I wish you the best in life, and if you happen to any left over cake from the wedding, feel free to send it my way. After all, I am a big fan of cake.

And for all you curious people out there who would like more information, here ya go:

Prego Ashlee

Prego Ashlee #2

Nintendo 64

Remember way back yonder, when video game consoles didn't cost $600? When the game controllers actually had to have cords that connected to the main system itself? When your game console couldn't connect to the Internet, letting you battle your friends and random people live? Yeah, me either.

But apparently, there was a time like this. The last time I went up to visit my brother at Iowa State, he pulled out this very archaic and ancient looking odd shaped black box with a couple of controllers. Of course, I asked him what on earth he was doing keeping junk around, and he told me this wasn't just any piece of junk, but in fact a game system called the Nintendo 64. As he went on to explain, this thing was all the rage amoung the gaming world in the mid 90's. He then pulled out what I learned to be a game. I asked him where the compact disk was, but he told me there wasn't any compact disks, that the rectangular cartridge was the game! Secretly, I wonder how on earth you would stick that would cartridge into the N64, but I kept quiet.

As we sat down to play a game, Super Smash Brothers, I was astounded by the simplicity of the graphics, and yet at the same time completely mesmorized by the complete coolness of this game. Now I know why my brother kept this around. Although I was restricted in movement due to the cord that connected the controller, it didn't take anything away from the experience.

Super Smash Brothers for N64 is quite possibly the greatest game ever made. There have a couple attempts by Nintendo to match it, such as the Super Smash Bros. game for the GameCube, and there are also a couple of versions for the Wii (which is probably the best thing to happen to Nintendo since N64). The Gamecube version isn't so good, but the Wii versions are quite fun, with the Wii's format, and all the favorite characters returning from the N64 version plus a couple new ones.

That's MySpace, Not Your Space

Somewhere, mixed in along with all those other social networking sites such as Facebook and Xanga(Ha, does anyone actually use xanga anymore?), there's MySpace. For the longest time, I had some serious problems with MySpace. I'm not actually sure why I had such a disgust with MySpace, but I think the majority of it had to do with MySpace's reputation of being a breeding ground for child abusers and creepers in general, thanks to shows such as To Catch A Predator.

If you've never seen To Catch A Predator, it's basically a show that highlights the dangers of the Internet and films adults who want to meet up with underage children for sex. Some of the people they snag just shock you, such as doctors and priests. (well, I guess the priest isn't really that shocking)

Anywho, then at some point, I came to the realization that MySpace was more than just a bunch of creepers, but it could actually be usefull! The useful side to MySpace is the music aspect of it. There, you can find just about any band you can possibly think of to hear, and listen to a couple of songs, and sometimes even download them, for free! Yes, free. I no longer had to pirate all of the songs I wanted. This even prompted me to create a myspace profile of my own,(I think I put my name as Joe) something I had never envisioned myself actually doing. Of course, I only created this profile because downloading some of the songs required that you have a profile.

So at this point in my life, I've come to really appreciate MySpace and all that it does for my musical needs. Although, I'm still disappointed only some of the music on there is actually downloadable. Personally, I think MySpace needs to implement a rule that if you put music samples up on their server for people to listen to, it must also be downloadable. But somehow, I don't see that happening any time soon.

I Wanna Go Fast

So the other day, I walked into a classroom and found the idiot box was turned on. (Who watches TV during school anyway?) I happen to love television, but this was one exception. The student in the room was watching a NASCAR race.

Ugh. Honestly, how can anyone truly enjoy watching a bunch of cars race around a track for 500 laps? It's like watching a little child spin around on a merry-go-round. Sure, it might be mildly entertaining the first few times, but its attractiveness quickly dies. These cars just go round and round and round and round and round. You get my point. Seriously though, they never even make a right turn.(Do race cars even have turn signals?)

I don't know how you can call it a sport. It involves no physical activity, very litte reliance on personal skill, it's all about the machine that you're operating. Anyone can be trained to drive a car, but you can't train natural athletic ability in sports such as football and basketball. These race car drivers just sit behind a steering wheel and waste gas. I did the same thing on the way to school day, but sadly, I didn't get paid large sums of money from sponsors. Bummer.

I have an uncle who is an absolute racing fanatic. During a family get together, I happen to express my feelings on racing. Of course, he had to defend his beloved "sport". 3 and 1/2 hours later, I still didn't see how on earth people could actually enjoy it. It's sad really, I'm never going to get that precious time back. There was a movie last year sometime, called Talladega Nights, which relentlessly bashed the race car industry. The movie is full of knee slapplingly funny lines, and stereotypes racing in just about everyway possible. I just lubs it.

So next time you find yourself near a place that smells heavily of beer, burnt rubber, and gasoline, you're probably near a racetrack. Run as quickly as possible away.

How To Save The World

So there is thing going on in our world today. Some of you may have heard of it, some of you may have not, but it's called global warming. Global warming is the process of the earth being unnaturally heated due to the carbon dioxide emissions into our atmosphere. These gasses get trapped in our atmosphere, and in turn trap the sun's heat, causing the global temperature to ruse. Despite how nice warmer temperatures sound, global warming is in fact a bad thing. A very bad thing indeed. Not a breaking your curfew bad, but a we're-all-going-to-die bad.

Long story short, if the human population as a whole continues to pollute our world at our current unrestrained levels, we're basically all doomed. (Think Day After Tomorrow kind of doomed). That really is kind of a depressing thought. But the good news, is that YOU, yes YOU can do your part to help change that very unfortunate future. I bet right about now you're asking yourself, "Well I'm just one person, what can I do?" Well I'm glad you asked, because I asked myself the same question. And then I had an epiphany. A vision came to me(actually a book), and I found some answers.

This book, called Our Planet: Change Is Possible, was written for the very purpose of informing the teenage population of what they can do to help stop global warming. Published with the help of MySpace, this book provides a personal and humorous side to a matter of the utmost importance. It is written with commentary by REAL myspace users. It provides you with little helpful hints of what you can do and change in your life that in the long run will help the environment. It's a pretty quick read, so if you happen to find yourself with some free time, go pick it up and plop down for an entertaining and informative read.

Mother Earth thanks you.

Good Ol' Chuck (Not Charlie Brown or Norris)

"Watch out for mastodons"

-Killing Yourself to Live
---

Indeed, the Chuck I am talking about is none than the one and only Chuck Klosterman. My dear friend Chuck is a writer. He is a non-fiction writer infact, and loves to write essays. Not just any essays, but funny and entertaining essays full of wonderful cultural references that make you feel smart if you get them, and slightly dumb if you don't. Minus Chuck's slight superiority complex, I really enjoy reading Chuck and his work.

I first heard about Chuck in LA, and decided to go hit up the B&N the next chance I got. And so I did. There, i found the jackpot. A book by Chuck, ON THE CLEARANCE RACK. I must have done something good in a past life to deserve this, I thought at the time. Maybe I was a Buddhist priest, perhaps the Dalai Lama. I'll never know. Anywho, I see this book for 5 bucks, and being the great bargain shopper I am, I can't resist. So as I'm checking out, the cashier tells me this is a really good book. Well, gee, I'm stoked now. If a cashier at B&N liked my choice, it must be good. And boy was it ever. So over the next week, I read the whole book, sad to put it down at night when I had to go to bed, and by the time I get to the end, I've decided that if Chuck ever started his own religion, I would so join.

Research 3.0

Ahhh, Mr. Research paper, we meet again.

Well, since my last post on my research paper, I'm proud to say I have made leaps and bounds in my research. I have found somewhere in the neighborhood of five to six, what i feel to be, pretty reliable resources. The more and more I've looked through the information on the internet, I've been able to filter and refine my searches to get more of the kind of information about reality TV that I'm looking for. A lot of the results dealing with shows overviews and recaps don't show up anymore, and instead the relevent information does. I've come to be in love with websites run by various educational departments around the country, since they seem to be doing a good amount of research very similiar to what I've been looking for. And since it's an .edu site, I generally feel that they are trustworthy. I've have also come to the realization that finding numbers for the kind of statistics i'm looking for is a very difficult task. I've tried websites like the Nielson ratings, but that was of virtually no help. So I think I'm going to be shifting my focus more and more away from looking for statistics as I go on in my research. Another helpful thing that I have begun to use more and more is the citations and references I find on one source, potentially will lead me to other good sources just full of precious information. I want to continue to look for a primary source, such a book or some kind of encyclopedia on this subject, but have currently turned up short.

And probably the biggest chance since last time, is that I feel like my research has become more focused overall, giving me a clearer picture of what I'm trying to do.

Panic! Does Anyone Know the Number for 9-1-1!?

Please put down the phone and stop calling 911. Don't worry, for all of those out there who thought you actually had to panic, you don't. By Panic, I really meant Panic! At The Disco. Or P-!-A-T-D for short.

I knew P!ATD had been at a new CD for awhile now, but I hadn't really bothered to look up details as to when it was going to be hitting the stores. But when I opened up the Best Buy ad a couple weeks ago, guess what i saw! Nothing other than the fantastic news that the CD would be out. Hallejulah.

Thats right, P!ATD has hit the main stream again boys and girls. This time, with a CD called Pretty. Odd. I'm going to give it to you straight up. This is one killer awesome CD. If you're ever heard PATD before, you are going to be in a for a big surprise when you pop this CD on to your iTunes. Unfortunately, they still managed to include ridiculously long song titles that you'll never remember. This CD sounds nothing like P!ATD's first CD, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, which is also a very good album I would recommend. While their first CD had more of an scorned/punk/emo sound, this CD is something like a combination of western/Beatles/Patrick Stump.

If I had to describe this new sound, only one thing pops into my mind:
Pretty odd.

Sudoku

Puzzles. Everyone loves a good puzzle now and then. From 4 piece to 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzles. There are word puzzles, crosswords, wordfinds, word scrambles, logic puzzles, and yes, even number puzzles. Number puzzles?! Who on earth would want to do a puzzle dealing with numbers? Isnt' that what math class is for? I thought so too.

But then, I started digging into this new craze, called Sudoku. These puzzles became popular in Japan, and then in America. I'm pretty sure the translation for the word "sudoku" has been lost for centuries, but I like to think of the word meaning "a number puzzle".

Essentially, you have a box that is then subdivided into smaller boxes, which you must fill with numbers. But it gets tricky. You can't use the same number in the same little box, or the same row or column. Impossible, you say. Well, sorta, but thats what the beginner booklets are for. The puzzles range from easy to very hard, usually graded on difficulty by the number of stars next to it. 1 star is easiest, 5 stars are the hard ones.

Since coming to America, these little itty bitty puzzles have spread like wildfire. You open up your local newspaper to all those other mind boggling puzzles, and there is it. Hiding innocently enough next to the crossword. Even big time newspapers like the New York Times carry these things. You can go to your nearest bookstore, and find whole books just filled with page after page of these things. Before you know it, you'll start finding sudoku on your cereal box! They're everywhere!

Someday, if you all catch the sudoku fever, you might move up to the two star ones like me.

Flavor of Love

Yeeeeeahhhhhh Booooooiiiiii!
Wooooooooooooowwwwwww!
Flaaaaavvaaa Flaavvvvv!

-The extent of Flavor Flav's vocabulary.

---

A few years ago, a season of The Surreal Life aired on VH1. If you've never seen Surreal Life, it's basically a bunch of dryed out D class celebrities with nothing better to do with their lives than appear of a television show. Well, little did the world know, on this particular season, a little known person named Flavor Flav would be released.

After creating plenty of drama on that series and it ended, some producer somewhere decided it would be a good idea to let Flavor Flav have his own show! Now, if I ever come into the possession of a time machine, one of the first things i would do is go back and de-brain whoever thought that was a good idea. But they did think of it, and create a show for him, and unfortunately for the educated of the world who have glimpsed it, those people are now dumber. The show is called Flavor of Love, and is currently running on its 3rd season. How it has made it to its third season, is something i'll never understand. Basically you have a bunch of drama making, fame seeking bimbos trying to compete for "true love". The sad part of it, is some of those girls have spawned spin offs including Charm School and I Love New York.

But culture is culture, and so over this past Easter weekend, I decided to do my part to spread it. I met up with my 18 month year old cousin, who has a very limited vocabulary. So being the corrupt kid I am, I tried to teach her to say Wooooooow and Flavvvaaa Flav!
But she was too smart
and refused.

Halo? I Don't See Any Angels

"I love halo. I don't know about all of you, but it is honest to god my most favoritest thing to do in the whole wide world. I play it at LEAST 4 hours a night before I do my homework, then another 2.5 hours after the hdub (if I do it) is finished. I feel it's nice to have a set schedule, keeps me regular."

-A ridiculous number of kids at KHS

---

So earlier this year, something earth shaking happened in the gaming world. Halo 3 came out for XBox 360. I'm pretty sure the shaking part was because of all the people who rushed to stores to wait hours in lines to be one of the first person to own the game. The game set many records, including the fastest selling game of all time. Just about 3.6759 billion copies were sold in the first 3 seconds of going on sale. Impressive. It just barely surpassed the previous record of 3.5 billion set by Halo 2. Once people got the game, their whole life became devoted to it. People skipped worked, call in sick from school, and just plain gave up sleep to beat the game before all of their friends did. I even heard stories of people moving game systems to every room of their house.

And a number of months passed, and things still haven't really calmed down. It's hard to walk to through the halls without hearing somebody talking about they "totally had this killer no scope head shot" last night while they were playing 'Lo. ( Apparently, the "ha" syllable has become too difficult to pronounce for some of the intense gamers...probably from lack of sunlight and or too much exposure to their TV screens). Everyday, after my 5th hour math class, I hear kids still making plans to go over to someones house to play Halo. Half of these kids are juniors, and I mean seriously, don't you have something better to do with your life than go play video games?

Don't get me wrong, I love playing video games. Sitting down with good game of Super Smash Bros. and laying down some complete domination is a good time. But there is a point when it becomes unhealthy, and I think peoples obsession with Halo has reached that point. If these kids would just put down that xbox controller for a hour a day, think of all the benefits to society. Kittens saved from trees, old ladies helped across cross walks, and not to mention all that electricity saved. (I think I found our global warming problem, folks)

My generation has heard this slogan again and again, and next time someone asks you to go over and play Halo, just say no.

Research Paper 2.0

Well, after looking back at what i was going to do for my research topics, I realized that those were some gosh darn boring topics. And so after some thumb twiddling and thinking, I came up with a couple of ideas that are more outside the box, and those ideas happen to be:

1. Game Shows
2. Reality Television

If I had to pick between the two, I would rather research reality TV, but game shows wouldn't be far beyond.

I've been searching the Internet for things dealing with reality TV, trying to get an idea of what exactly is out there. It's really easy to find general information about the shows and peoples reviews and opions, but when I try to search for specific information about reality tv, like statistics, is it good or bad?, what sort of studies are there?, etc. etc., I can't really find much. Mind you, this is all coming from searches related to Google. Some of the helpful things I did find are sites like: Reality Check, Reality TV Impact, and How Real is Reality TV. These are helpful, but not exactly material to base a whole reseach paper about. I have come across references to Media Psychology, a journal that I could see to be potentially quite useful. Unfortunately, I can't find the full article/story online that I think would be most useful.

I looked through EBSCO, but I didn't find anything there. Either I was just searching for the wrong kind of material, which is probably the case, or they really don't have anything worthwhile concerning reality TV. I feel like hard copy sources are going to be more useful for me if i want to pursue this topic than online sources are going to be.

I think the biggest obstactle for me in this search has been a focus problem. I know I want to do something with reality tv, but I feel like this is a large topic, and feel that I lack a clear focus and goal of what I really want to find out about it.

Juno...Not the City in Alaska

So far, I have seen the movie Juno, twice now. And each time, I have absolutely loved it. Personally, if you haven't seen it by now, you should. It's a witty, goofy, comedy that revolves around an unplanned teenage pregnancy. The movie also has a great cast of actors, including Ellen Page and Michael Cera( aka Evan, from Superbad). But one of the great elements of this movie that cannot be ignored is the music.

The Juno soundtrack is quite possibly the best soundtrack I've ever heard.( Minus Motion City Soundtrack, which is a name of a band, and therefore, doesn't count). Anywho, listening to this soundtrack is a must. But beware: The songs are amazingly addicting, their beats just worming their way into your brain and never leaving. It features artists such as The Velvet Underground, Buddy Holly, and Belle and Sebastion. But the artist who really takes the cake with this CD is none other than Kimya Dawson. (Yeah, I had never heard of her before either)

Along with a killer first name, Kimya provides just about half of the songs on this soundtrack. Not to mention, by far the best song on the CD, "Loose Lips", is written by Kimya. But just incase you all don't go out and buy the soundtrack right away, I feel it's only fair to give you a sampling of Kimya at her myspace page: Right Here

You + Tube = YouTube

YouTube. It's really a very simple concept. You record a video. Put it on your computer. And then upload it to YouTube. And voila! You're done. And yet, this oh so simple idea has been transformed into one of the most popular sites on the Internet today. It ranks up there in popularity with Google, Facebook, and Myspace. (Coincidentally, Google bought out YouTube in 2006 for the meager sum of 1.65 billion dollars).

Anything that has ever been recorded, you can probably find on YouTube. With upwords of 77 million videos currently on the site, it's hard to imagine what isn't on there. From talking unicorns, to old tv shows such as Are You Afraid of The Dark?, to music videos, to prison inmates performing Soulja Boy. It's all there, waiting for some poor unsuspecting web surfer to stumble upon and become trapped in the YouTube world. A friend sends you a link to a five minute video. You need a break from your homework anyway, so you decide to watch it. Three and a half hours later, you realize you're still on YouTube, no closer to finishing your homework, thanks to the recommend other videos you would enjoy so graciously provided by YouTube. Sad, but true.

I've always wondered what inspired the creators of YouTube. Did they wake up on morning, hop on to their computer, want to watch some random person make farting sounds in public, only to be disappointed when they couldn't find it? Some people I'll never understand.

Here are a few of my favorites from YouTube:

• Charlie The Unicorn
• Farting In Public
• Muffins
• Things You Can't Do When You're Not in a Pool

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...

Male Customer #1: It's too bad Chlamydia has to be a venereal disease. It's such a pleasant-sounding word.

Male Customer #2: Chlamydia?

Male Customer #1: Chlamydia.

Male Customer #2: Chlamydia. I think I might name my daughter Chlamydia

Probably one of my favorite quotes from the movie "Waiting", because when you think about it, it's kind of true.

---

So the other night, I sat down to watch the movie "Waiting" with Mandi. She had wanted to watch it, after hearing it was a pretty funny movie. I had seen it before though. This is a movie that takes place in a restaurant full of disfucntional employees and the experiences of their jobs. I agree, it is a pretty funny movie, full of witty quips and raunchy humor. What Mandi didn't know though, was that the movie also had a more disturbing side to it. I tried to warn her before hand, but trying to explain it without totally ruining the movie, was kind of difficult. So I sat down and zipped my lips.

Among other things, one of the more disturbing parts of the movie is when a rather unruly and rude customer demands that her food be taken back to the kitchen and fixed because the meal wasn't to her liking. Up to this point, the customer has been nothing but rude,mean, and obnoxious to the waitress, and after a vote in the kitchen, the employees decide to get the customer back. This involves mixing a number bodily ingredients, such as spit, dandruff, and sweat on to the food. Let me tell you, they show it all. Of course, the food is taken back out to the customer where she takes what appears to be a bite she enjoys immensely. Gross. As the main character would put it, "I guess we should feel some sort of guilt, but she broke the cardinal rule; never f**k with people who handle your food"

When the movie gets over, you began to wonder what if something like that really happens. There's enough plausibility in the movie mixed in that just adds a dimension of uncertainty next time you want to go out to eat. I'll tell ya one thing, next time I send my food back to the kitchen, I'm going to take a reeaaallll close inspection before and after.

Bon Apetite!

Survivor...Is Still Surviving?

So, the other night, I was participating in the best kind of surfing Iowa has to offer: Channel Surfing. I was doing pretty good, weaving in and out of waves, until suddenly, the whole wave came crashing down on me. As I stared at the TV in disbelief, as Jeff Probst described a challenge to two groups of emaciated, malnurished, and weary looking contestants.

I couldn't believe it. There's just no way. Survivor was still on television! I was shocked. My first thought was, "You mean someone still watches this show?" my next one was, "Jeez, it must be season 3785 by now." (I would later find out it was only season 16, but I wasn't too far off) Flashback time! I remember watching the first season, way back yonder in 2000, and thinking the idea of a reality show was something totally radical. Back then, they had two tribes with 18 people, each one competing for an ultimate cash prize at the end of the show, if they could "Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast" all the other players. They would compete in challenges, the winning tribe gaining immunity from having a member voted off, until the game was over and someone had won. There were always people making making secret aliances, back stabbing, and the general drama of dramatic people.

As I watched this latest episode, I realized, there was basically nothing different from the show I watched eight years ago. How disappointing. You still had the token drama queens and the six pack toting guys, the smart ones, and the just plain clueless ones. They still competed for immunity and what not, with a few minor twists thrown in there. But overall, it was still the same old boring plot. Sure, I understand people will watch something for the first few seasons, but by season 5 or 6, I just don't see the appeal anymore.

But for all of you die hard fans out there, I hope that you never have to go throw the trauma of Tribal Council.

Research Topics

So, last night, I was sitting in Mock Trial and probably should have been paying attention, I began to ponder to myself, "Hrmmm, what should I do for my research topics?" I momentarily had myself stumped, sort of like a tree that had just been cut down. Then a flurry of ideas hit me. 1) Why not do something with No Child Left Behind!? Or 2) the overuse of anti-bacterial products in society!? Oooh, 3) what about doing something about MP3 files and illegal download and the music industry?! 4) My final idea was to research the concept of various forms of birthcontrol in schools, and the controversy surrounding it.

I'm still currently throwing around which one of these I want to do the most, but haven't decided.

PeaceOut

Pop Into...Pop Culture!

Helllooooooo ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, audience of all ages!
Welcome to my blog on "Ooohs!" and "Aaahs" and "OMGSTFU's" of pop culture!

Some of you maybe asking yourselves, "Just what is pop culture?" I too, asked myself that question, and I came up with, "anything and everything that worms its way into the popular culture and media of the times." This is a very broad and general sort of category, and it's meant to be. It includes everything from music, to TV, to video games, and yes, even Britney Spears. Of course, I wanted to make sure my definition was fitting so I decided to check my favorite cultural dictionary, Urbandictionary.com. Here is what I found:

pop culture: Brainwashed Zombies who Deserve to be stoned to death

Well, maybe not entirely true, but Ryan Seacrest sure fits that. Good enough for me.

It may already be too late for some, but I would like to apologize in advance if I happen to sink my potentially vicious teeth into an aspect of pop culture you hold dear to your heart. There isn't a part of pop culture that will be specifically targeted, just whatever strikes my fancy at the time. No intentional bad feelings are meant, it's is all in good fun.


Until Next Time, Dudes and Dudettes!